Recently (May, 2016), Kirk Cameron apparently voiced his opinions regarding marital roles, saying that wives are to submit to their husbands. Oddly enough the Social Media went crazy!!
Oddly enough? Not really! We can count on this happening every time a biblical principle regarding marital relationships or child discipline or sexual issues is raised. Often, whether they are raised or not!
The world is increasingly ‘secular,’ meaning: ungodly and anti-biblical. Their world view and social philosophy is on display in very overt and vivid ways, almost everywhere we turn, even in churches.
The context of Cameron’s statements are reasonable. A marriage is much like any partnership: Too Many Cooks Spoil The Stew!
The Bible does not go into detail on this subject. It merely answers the logical question: Who’s In Charge? To say the man is in charge, is biblically WRONG!
Am I disagreeing with Cameron? Absolutely Not!
Am I trying to walk down the middle of the street so as not to offend anyone? If you think that, you don’t know me, nor have you read any of my other blogs [thebibleforum.net theviewfromzoar.org livinggodly.net].
THE POINT: Marriages are Vital Unions of largely differing people. Look at the average marriage and you will see how opposites attract.
There cannot be competing ideas about how important issues are resolved without chaos ensuing, yet this is inevitable. When it happens, the marriage is in serious turmoil and headed for disaster! The children will pay The Price! The Society will suffer.
Generally, women know a great deal more about ‘family’ and children and just about anything domestic or social, than the average man. Any man who insists on having his own way in ANY of these areas is a fool! [Unless HE’S the domestic partner and she’s not — which sometimes happens]
Generally, men have a broad view of life, encompassing all sorts of things most women are not interested in at all. Sports. Politics. Junk Food. Sleeping in a chair. Cars. Tools. Hobbies. Staring At The TV For Hours.
The Bible wants a couple of things to happen.
1. It wants marriages and families strong, stable and productive.
2. It wants marriages to reflect godly standards and values.
How do we make that happen?
1. We marry well! Not in haste. Not in the heat of sexual desire. Not simply for companionship. Not out of rebellion or foolishness.
2. We marry those who share our Values, Goals, Standards and Spiritual Commitments.
3. We work together to make the marriage (and ensuing family) a healthy, productive and stable environment, for all the members.
How do we do this? By working together! Meaning? Whoever has the strength (emotional, academic, physical, etc) does that which is native or important to them.
It might mean a wife who is really better at finances than her husband. It might mean a man who is better at providing food than is his wife. This is not the 12th century, people have differing skill-sets and the time to apply them.
But, what happens should there be a serious disagreement about something fundamentally important to The Family? A decision where neither partner can possibly understand nor appreciate the other’s position?
WAR? COMPROMISE? Nobody wins! Everybody loses!
What Saith The Lord Who Made You?
“Wives, be submissive to your husbands….as unto the Lord!” [Eph. 5:22; Col. 3:18] A Door Mat? No. The word ‘submit,’ means to arrange your life under the authority which is being presented. It doesn’t require agreement. It doesn’t mean he’s The Boss!
It means living in harmony, under God, recognizing the larger issue at stake! An issue that goes back to The Garden, when the first man gave into the first woman….surrendering his responsibility in order to either keep the peace or keep from losing her.
Submission is not a bad thing! There isn’t an area of life where we do not submit. In some cases we simply obey, but a regular diet of that is destructive.
Submission is not Obeying! It is simply recognizing the God-ordained authority structure and bowing to Him (God)! God is calling families to be Constructive, not Combative.
AND….If the decision you disagree with, doesn’t work, You Win!?
No. In family feuds there are only losers….generally the children, who now see a division of power they can exploit.
On the other side, God has ordered that men ‘love their wives, the way Christ loved The Church.‘ [Eph. 5:25; Col. 3:19]
How is that? He gave His life for her. That’s a total commitment! When that’s happening, submission is not nearly as difficult.
With that command in place God requires that wives respect the Divine order of things (for God’s sake) and let her husband have his way.
If it’s wrong, he’ll learn. It may take time, but it’s more important he learns than you get your way, over his.
Did I mention the children?